Author: Lune Nightingale
Fandom: AU RPS (SPN Actors)
Genre: Angst, Romance, Kink
Rating: NC-17 (This particular part is just PG-13)
Notes: This is in response to a SPN Kink Meme found here. It probably isn’t so much a kink now as a love story, but hey! I hit the important parts and it exploded into a long fic.
Warnings: This is underage (Jared is 14, Jensen is 16) and contains Mpreg and some kinks I’m not exactly sure I did correctly. XD
Disclaimer: I do not own these lovely individuals. Just the twisted romance I spun in my head.
Word Count: 4,279
“If you look for the bad in people expecting to find it, you surely will.”
- Abraham Lincoln
“I can’t believe you!”
It wasn’t so much the words as the tone that lingered in his mind. Pure disappointment mixed with disbelief. All the things he’d tried so hard to avoid all his life.
“We raised you to be better than this!”
Straight A student that never once saw the inside of the principal’s office or touched drugs, yet here he was.
“You made your bed, you’re just going to have to lie in it! Honestly, what were you thinking?!”
That stood as the problem. At the time, he’d been thinking of all he could lose. It never occurred to him how much more hung in the balance. Whispered promises in his ears and the gentle voice telling him he’d never leave him… Not as long as he proved how much he loved him. At that moment, losing him felt like the end of the world. If only foresight was 20/20 like hind sight. In the end? He had nothing left to show for it.
“It’s a life, Jensen. Not a choice. You’ll thank us when you’re older even if you hate us for it right now.”
Jensen didn’t hate them for it. But he knew at times he would in the future. And after listening to his parents scold him for at least an hour about responsibility only to watch his mother break down in tears? Arguing seemed so very far out of the question. Not like this baby asked to happen. Baby… the word terrified him. Just like the other two words he’d only breathed to the father just before he vanished from his life.
Drawing his knees up to his chest, he lowered his forehead against them and closed his eyes. The shock alone on his face should have told Jensen what would happen. That the very next day Jensen would be erased out of his life with the ease of a keystroke. After the first month of trying to figure out what he’d done wrong, he’d finally given up. There was no rewind button. This was it.
He was alone.
At least his mom was there when he’d fallen apart. When the world crumbled under his feet, she’d held him and let him cry. The soft words she’d spoken into his hair were the only things that kept him going.
“No matter what you do, you’re still my baby boy.”
Jensen understood. His parents had tried for years to have a baby, and having him was something they gushed about to everyone anytime someone would listen. The fact she still loved him after he screwed up meant more to him than anything in the world. But it didn’t make it stop hurting. It didn’t make it feel like he was any less on his own.
At least the first trimester was over and he could finally eat again. Picking at the hem of his jeans, he let his eyes linger on his fingertips until the soft sound of a thud drew them away. Blinking, the bright orange of a basketball bounced across the grass nearby rolling to a stop by his foot.
“You threw it too hard you idiot! How do you expect to get on the basketball team if you can’t hit the backboard!” Jensen turned his head to stare at the wooden fence as the overly loud voice broke into his thoughts.
“What?! You’re the one that distracted me you over grown bean pole!” The retort was just as loud and obnoxious before suddenly a shaggy mop of brown hair popped up over the fence along with bright hazel eyes.
“Hey! Um! Sorry, it didn’t hit you did it, Jensen?” About that moment another head popped up over the fence sporting hard to miss bleach blonde spikes and narrowed blue eyes.
“Dude… you live next door to Ackles?”
“Shut up, Chad.” A hand that looked too big to be on the gangly teen rose to shove the blonde off the fence. “Sorry about him. I am still working on getting him ready to be exposed in public.”
“Fuck you, Padalecki.” The snorted retort preceded the next complaint. “Just get the ball.”
The brunette flushed a little as he rose a brow at him. Soon the younger teen was beaming at him with a smile wide enough to dig the dimples into his cheeks. “Um.. Do you mind? I can jump over if you’d rather?”
“It’s fine, Jared.” Jensen finally spoke, voice softer as he used the tree he was leaning against in his back yard to push to his feet. His back ached as he ducked down to pick up the ball. Tossing it up to the younger, he watched the large palm catch it in mid air before flicking it over his shoulder to Chad.
“Thanks… you wanna play?”
“JT!” Chad was hissing at him from behind. “Dude! He’s like… you know!”
“He’s what?” The genuine curiosity in those hazel eyes struck him as endearing before he shook his head.
“Nah… thanks anyway.”
“This isn’t cause I’m just a fish and you’re a junior is it?” Jared’s nose scrunched up in distaste and it made Jensen smile just a little.
“No, that’s not…” Jared sent him a furrowed look and he had to laugh. “Just not feeling too good, all right?”
“Jared! Stop flirting! I came over to play basketball!”
“Nag nag nag!” Glaring over his shoulder, Jensen watched his neighbor flick his best friend off. “Maybe another time?” Sending Jensen the brightest smile, he suddenly disappeared behind the fence. Unfortunately… for the small smile Jared pried out of him, Chad’s failed attempt at whispering killed it cold in his chest.
“How are you so damn dense? Didn’t you hear? Guys got a bun in the oven.” A few hissed responses couldn’t be made out before Chad groaned. “God, and I’m the blonde. Just stay away from him, it’ll be like social suicide for a guy like you.”
“Shut up. Like I care about that!” Jensen turned toward the door to his home and started walking. He knew the rumors were flying all over the school already. He didn’t have to listen to it here too.
“Stop being so loud you bean stalk!”
“Stop being such an ass, then!”
Closing the door behind him, he leaned against it thankful for the silence. Turning his head, he pressed against the cool glass and stared over toward the Padalecki’s home. They’d lived there for the last five years. He even remembered teaching Jared how to shoot hoops when they first met… now it sort of hurt just knowing that the younger teen knew. Half a decade of huge worshipful hazel eyes on him… what would they look like now?
Jensen really didn’t want to know.
“Little hot for a jacket, don’tcha think, Ackles?” Wincing a little, he pulled at the cuff of his sleeves as some of the guys that he used to play baseball with smirked from down the long cafeteria table. They were all leaned in to look at him at the end of the table noticeably putting distance between them. “Gaining a little weight, there?”
Ducking his head down lower, he stared at his untouched lunch wondering about pulling the hood over his head. He sent them a half-cocked smile and didn’t answer as they broke into snickers. “Oh how the ‘saintly’ have fallen.”
Slowly sliding his hands into his lap, he pushed his fingers into the cuffs of his jacket wringing them together. Jaw set, he knew they were right. Texas heat in the spring was enough to knock the wind out of you with just a t-shirt… wearing a coat wasn’t helping his situation. “See that’s what you get for batting for the wrong team, Jenny.”
Glaring harder at the table, he started to grab his lunch and move until a figure sank into the seat beside him putting a block between him and the sneers. Blinking a few times, he looked at his new company and his mouth went slack just a little in surprise. Only the lanky brunette beat him to it as he grinned at him. “Hope you weren’t saving that seat for someone else.”
“Huh?” Of all the sensible things to say, Jensen couldn’t begin to find that right one at that moment as a feeling of relief washed over him.
“Was someone going to sit here?” The younger teen smiled a little as he kept his hazel eyes intently on Jensen’s face. Ducking his head, he shook it fast and looked back to his food. “Awesome.” The word actually sounded genuine causing his brow to furrow. “Feeling sick? I might have something that’s easier on the stomach?”
Lifting green eyes to the younger man, he openly stared at him as Jared started emptying out his oversized lunch his mom must have packed for him. After a few things were set out, he suddenly scoffed. “Did you steal that lunch kit from Mary Poppins?”
Instantly laughing, Jared’s smile was brilliant on his face as he turned to look at Jensen. “Nah, mom has the art of packing my lunches down. And I asked her for some extra stuff… and… Ha! There they are!” In a triumphant fist pump, the brunette produced a ziploc of saltine crackers and offered them to him.
Staring at the dangling offering, Jensen slowly started to smile before he ducked his head trying to smother the laughing. “Jay…”
“Yes?” Big smile in place, the younger leaned in closer to him and set the crackers next to his hand.
“You’re a dork.” Smiling up at him fondly, he reached out to ruffle the far too soft hair just before picking up the Ziploc.
“But I’m also adorable.” Pointing this out matter-of-factly, Jared smugly turned back to his food. “So eat them. Promise they’re normal regular crackers.”
The heat that rushed up into his cheeks kept his head down. “Definitely adorable.” Shaking his head, he finally opened the bag on the table and fished out one of the little pale squares.
“I know, right?” The muffled words came out from around his sandwich and Jensen started to laugh.
“Didn’t your mother teach you how not to talk with your mouth full?” The grin he received in return made him smile. Rolling his eyes, he turned to nibble on the cracker quietly and slow closing his eyes. He could feel other gazes on him. Not like he needed to look, he knew the weight of them. It was killing his appetite in more ways than one. And the girls whispering behind him… they weren’t helping.
“Is he really pregnant? Like, gonna have a baby.”
“That’s what I heard. Heard he got dumped like a bad habit, too.”
“I thought he was like… mister perfect.”
Jensen’s hands shook a little as the lowered down to his lap again. His jaw tightened as the smothered giggles before another girl whispered back. “Guess when the good ones go bad, they go skanky too.”
Pushing up from the chair in one fast motion, he kept his head down as he grabbed his tray. Not looking at the imploring gaze from his neighbor, he mumbled an excuse and dumped his untouched tray in the trash before quickly exiting the lunch room. Making a beeline for his locker, he pressed his forehead into the cool metal and slowly started to spin out the combination as he worked to catch his breath.
As he hit the next number, he caught sight of the lanky figure leaning back against the lockers next to his own just watching him. Turning his head a little, he caught the soft hazel gaze as it slowly slid down his form. Normally he hated when people looked at him, but the warmth of those eyes on him… sent a tremor down his spine.
“He really left you?” Voice soft, Jared seemed to struggle with the question.
“Yeah.” Saying this simply, he opened his locker and grabbed the books he’d need before slamming it shut again.
“Jen…” Taking a deep breath, he turned his head to look at the boy that had shot past him in height in the last year. “Why would he do a stupid thing like that?”
And that simple, innocent question shot that burning sensation up into his nose and eyes. Tears were building over and under his contacts as he bit his lower lip. Shaking his head quickly, he didn’t want to cry. He’d already cried too long.
“I know I’m just the nosy neighbor kid, Jen… but… I mean… dude… the guy is an asshole! And if he didn’t know what he had… then he didn’t deserve you to begin with.” The passion in those words made him close his eyes against the rising urge to just sob. He’d told himself he wouldn’t cry about it anymore. It ended. No more, no less.
“What do you know?!” Shooting back at him, he could feel the tears sliding down his cheeks. “Maybe I am the slut they’re all saying I am!”
The anger was palpable in his voice as he went off. Jared didn’t deserve it. He didn’t have to take it, but he stood there anyway. When Jensen couldn’t find the steam anymore, he almost whimpered as he added. “I’d leave me too.”
Pulling on a sleeve, he was about to wipe his face off till he felt the pad of a thumb slide over his cheek. Looking up sharply, he felt his face cupped in Jared’s large hands. When had they gotten so big? “I wouldn’t if it were me.” Smiling softly, the younger teen smoothed the tears away and flushed as he ducked his head. “But I’m just a dorky freshman, so what do I know, huh?”
“Jay…” Pulling away slowly, he rubbed at his face and stared down at the tile floor quietly before finally looking up at him. “S’not all you are. Thanks…” Even if he was worried about what they’d say about him if he stuck around.
The smile that spilled over the young face had Jensen smiling just a little. “Any time… hey, need me to carry that to your next class?”
Snorting a laugh, he shook his head and finally smiled up at him. “I’m pregnant… not crippled. But thanks for the offer.”
“Can I still walk you to your class?”
Why did the guy have to sound so hopeful? Hedging a little, he finally nodded his head. “Yeah… sure.” And maybe the returning grin made it worth it.
One Month Later…
“Jensen Ross Ackles! How are you losing weight!” His mother’s voice carried through the open foyer and down the hall as they walked into the house. Cringing a little when the door slammed, he didn’t stop on his way to the stairs. “Look at me when I’m talking to you, young man!”
As soon as the command was given, he stopped and gripped the banister. Slowly turning around, he met her tired gaze as she ran a hand through her hair. “Jensen… You can’t not eat!”
Lowering his gaze to his stomach, he could already feel the jeans getting tighter. What used to hang loose on his hips were now pinching at the skin. Working his way into the fifth month… and he was starting to freak out the more people started to stare. He’d already lost the battle of too much clothing. His mother told him he was being stupid and to stop wearing a jacket in this weather.
Gritting his teeth, he looked away from her. “Baby, you can’t do this to the baby or yourself.”
He hated that line. Always being guilted by how he was torturing that small life inside of him. Didn’t anyone give a damn about how they were torturing him. “I look like a freak, mom!”
The corners of her lips pulled into a frown as she watched him. “You do not. You put that nonsense out of your head right now! If you…” She cut off and he knew what she’d been planning to say. If he’d just kept his damn legs closed, they wouldn’t be here right now. But she never said it, and sometimes he thought that made it worse. “Just go to your room and I’ll make you something to eat. We’ll talk about this later.”
Always later. They would talk about it later. Turning, he marched up the stairs and slammed his door. Sinking down onto his bed, he slowly pulled his shirt off. His body changed more everyday, and what used to be ‘pretty for a boy’ was becoming just plain ‘pretty like a girl’.
Rubbing at his face, he mussed up his own hair as he stared down at his chest. The lines of lean muscle were fading little by little and the skin was softening to practically baby soft especially about his chest and stomach. The doctor called it a hormonal shift. He called it his worst nightmare.
His head lifted at the knock on the door. “Jensen? I’m coming in.” His mother called through the door and opened the door without waiting. She didn’t look up at him as she placed a plate of cut up fruit and cheese on his computer desk as well as the envelope from the doctor after his appointment. “Eat. You can be healthy without starving yourself.”
She finally looked at him with a pointed look. He met her gaze and forced the emotion out of his face. “Fine.”
“Jensen, I’m just trying to help, baby. It’s for your own good.” When he turned away from her, jaw set stubbornly, she sighed. He didn’t move until he heard the soft click of the door closing.
Rising from the bed, he snatched the plate with a little more anger than necessary before sinking onto the ledge of the window ceil . Nibbling at a slice of apple, he let his eyes go unfocused as he stared at the waning afternoon sky. Sometimes he wished he could just erase all the thoughts out of his head and just stop thinking altogether. Never did him any good anyway.
Closing his eyes, he started to drift a little with the feeling of the cool glass on his face until a loud thud nearly startled him off his perch. Blinking wildly, he looked around with an owlish gaze until he caught the window of the house next door open. Leaning out of it was one smiling Jared Padalecki waving a hand to get him to open the window.
Smiling in spite of himself, he slid off the ledge just enough to open his window. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”
“Why would I do that?” The younger pressed his hands to his chest looking scandalized before he grinned. “So! Is it a girl or a boy?!”
Jensen stared at him in open surprise before blinking. “I don’t… know…” He’d been in such a huff, he’d not answered the doctor when she asked him if he wanted to know the sex.
“What?! You’re kidding me! C’mon, Jen, you need to start pouring through names! I found this website with all these really cool names and you should totally see some of them!” The enthusiasm rolled off the man in waves. Slowly slipping back into his little perch, he simply listened to the younger throw out a few names and meanings as he stretched out a little relaxing. “And you could do something exotic… like Jasmine if it’s a girl!”
“Jasmine? Dude, she’d be picked on for the rest of her life if I named her after a Disney princess.” Laughing softly, he suddenly noticed that Jared didn’t answer. Looking at him in concern, he felt his breath still at the darkened hazel eyes that were drifting down his chest and stomach. Breathing in slowly, he curled his arms about his bare torso. “Um… I’ll have to look around… guess next appointment I can find out the sex?”
Jared blinked out of his daze and brought his eyes back up to Jensen’s. “Huh? Oh.. yeah. Do that! Don’t make me come with you and ask for you!” A wicked grin crossed his face, dimples deepening on his cheeks. “I’ll tell them I’m the father and you’ll be doomed.”
Jensen had to laugh at this. Dropping his head back, his smile hurt it was so wide. “And I’ll get arrested for molesting someone just out of puberty.”
“Hey! You’re only two years older and I’m totally not… not… that!” Jared flailed his long arms explicitly at this and Jensen had to laugh even more. His body vibrated with amusement as he watched the animated hand gestures. “I’m totally mature enough to be a dad too!”
“Uh huh. And my kid will be spouting off curse words courtesy of Uncle Chad?”
“I never said he was mature.”
Chuckling softly, he rolled his head a little to waggle his brows at Jared. “And here I thought you two came as a boxed set.”
“Dude, that’s just gross.” The scrunched look as Jared frowned intensified Jensen’s smile. Why was it… only Jared got him to smile anymore?
“I got pictures…” He felt oddly shy as he offered this, but the way Jared lit up made his heart flutter. “If you want to come and see…”
“I’m there!” And before he could protest or suggest anything, the window was snapped shut and Jared was gone. Running a hand through his bangs, he tipped his head down and huffed a laugh.
At the sound of the doorbell, he slid off the sill and closed the window. Slowly walking over to his desk, he listened to the animated talking as Jared talked to his mother. She’d been iffy about him hanging around at first, now she called him ‘Jensen’s little ray of sunshine’. Rolling his eyes, he stuffed another apple slice into his mouth and picked up the envelope from the doctor.
He’d not even really looked at them yet. Leave it to the infinite ball of energy that was Jared to make him actually want to. The tap at his door was his only warning before a head poked in. “Ya decent?”
“Depends on your definition of decent.” Arching a brow, Jensen moved to flop on his bed staring at the envelope like it might bite him.
Jared only managed to flush before he moved into the room and slid down onto the bed next to him. “So… let’s see ‘em!”
Scooting over on the bed, he pat the mattress next to him. When Jared got the hint, he kicked his shoes off and slid onto his back next to Jensen. Focusing on the envelope in his hands, he opened it trying not to let the blush rise in his skin with Jared’s eyes on him. Clearing his throat, he pulled the sonogram pictures out of the envelope and held them up for them to see. “Doctor said it’s healthy…”
“’Cept you aren’t eating enough.” Turning his head, he caught those hazel eyes on him. Why did his mom have to talk so much? “Jen...”
Looking away, he slowly flipped to the next shot. His fingers slid over the small little distorted image curiously. His eyes went out of focus though as the pictures were gently pulled from his fingers. Tipping his head up, he met the soft gaze as Jared leaned over him, one hand pressed into the mattress beside his other shoulder. “Jay...”
“Jen, you're...” Running a hand through his hair, he floundered a little before slowly rubbing at his temples. Meeting his eyes, Jared seemed to be looking for what he wanted to say in his eyes before huffing a laugh and closing his eyes. “Jensen... this... the way you are right now? You're beautiful... and I'm dying to meet this kid.”
Staring up at him curiously, he felt the heat rush up into his cheeks. Biting into his lower lip, he turned his head away. Seriously? Jared was trying too hard if his mom was putting him up to this. That's when he felt soft fingertips sliding over his stomach. Breathing in sharply, he closed his eyes as the large palm pressed against the softer skin. That's when he felt the flutter of movement in his abdomen causing him to jump and press up into his hand. “It... It moved...”
The awe in Jared's voice cause him to huff a laugh and smiled softly. Reaching out, he slid his fingers tentatively into Jared's hair. “Never felt that before...” It made if feel more real all of a sudden.
Jared's brilliant hazel eyes rose to grin at him brightly. “Really?” The movement of that hand on Jensen's stomach had him gasping again as he let his eyes flutter closed. There was that movement in his stomach, like the skittering of butterflies against his abdomen... but then there was heat. A heat that... he'd not felt in a while. “Hey you... can't wait to meet you...”
The so soft voice made Jensen shiver only to make a low sound as lips suddenly brushed his navel. “Jared... I don't...”
“Shh! I want to see if I can get her to move again.”
“So sure it's a girl?” His voice was breathless as that hand smoothed up and over the swell of Jensen's stomach in rapt fascination.
“As pretty as her mom is? Don't doubt it.” Hazel met green and soon Jensen was laughing softly.
“You're not naming her Jasmine.”
“You'll come around.” They both smiled even as Jensen shifted his legs desperately ignoring that heat pooling low in his groin. Jared didn't mean it like that... but he was too selfish to tell him to stop.
Continue to Part Two...