(no subject)

[lunenightingale]

Title: Jealousy

Series: Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Incest, death, and abuse of characters. Also one thematic spoiler if you’ve not read Vol. 17 of the Tsubasa manga.

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters, they belong to CLAMP. Please don’t sue~

Dedication: To Ally, Merry Christmas <3

Ah, I can't commit to eternity

But these hands won't let you go

I can't rely on crucifixes

I only want to protect you

- Déjà vu

 --+--

Every year, he was growing more and more… Each day that passed, Seishiro couldn’t help but stand in awe of the man his brother was becoming. He wasn’t surprised. No, there was nothing surprising in the power, strength, endurance, and sheer attractiveness of Fuuma. From the very beginning, he’d always known. That was why he pushed the younger so hard. Seishiro had so much faith in everything that Fuuma put his hand to. His brother was the only thing worth believing in.

 

In the beginning, no one believed in the boy. They would abuse him, break him, and try to beat him down with words and insults. Yet, for all this, he always stood up and kept moving. It was for that reason, Seishiro looked only at him and no one else mattered. Those days were gone. Now Fuuma had slowly moved his way from being so small and insignificant, to an Order favorite. Now he was the one both men and women alike flocked to for a charismatic charm and strength that few had in their world. He’d persevered and surpassed all of them, and he hadn’t even needed to have magic. At 15 years of age, Fuuma was the one so many ran to for his smiles, his laughter, and quite simply, his company.

 

All that was left was jealousy. Not of his popularity and achievement, but of the loss of those dark eyes focused solely on him. It was so childish and ridiculous for him to feel that way. In a way, he refused to even give it a name. What was so simply ‘jealousy,’ was acknowledged in neither his thoughts nor his words. Seishiro merely existed and watched in his silent manner. That was why he was sitting in the low sweeping branch of the Sakura tree watching the lithe figure of his brother so very quietly.

 

Amber eyes never moved and barely blinked as Fuuma stood with a group of people laughing as they talked about various elders and other events that had occurred that day. Fuuma was taller now, he’d managed to surpass Seishiro’s height by an inch already, and it wasn’t just an observation to say that he’d keep growing. At 19, Seishiro seemed to have reached his maximum height, which proved to be not much taller than he’d been for the prior four years.

 

Shifting slowly, he glanced at a few of the falling petals as they drifted like snow to the ground. Still listening to the conversation, an elegant hand reached out to catch a full blossom during it’s decent to the earth.

 

“Fuuma-san! You were amazing while you were sparring!”

 

“You really were! Where did you learn some of those moves?”

 

“They were so cool!”

 

Seishiro had to fight the urge to roll his eyes as the last words were shrill and high pitched from one of the girls in Fuuma’s level. Brushing the pad of his thumb over the silken petals, he only paused at the sound of his brother’s lilting tone. “You learn a lot by watching.” He could almost hear the smirk in his voice, and Seishiro couldn’t help smiling just slightly.

 

“Watching? The other elders in the Order?”

 

“Che, like they know anything.” There was an eruption of giggles as Fuuma laughed. That was one thing Seishiro couldn’t place. His brother had no respect for his elders, and he wasn’t afraid to voice that.

 

“Do you mean then, your onii-sama?” This voice was quieter, almost as though they were afraid to mention him in this conversation. Not that he blamed them. Most were afraid of him. He was the strongest in the Order, and many believed him completely incapable of feeling.

 

“You could say that. I need to go in, lots of studying to do.”

 

“As if you’ll study, Fuuma-san!” More laughter filled the air, and Seishiro leaned his head back against the trunk closing his eyes. “I bet you just want to go in and sleep till you have to eat.”

 

Fuuma laughed as well, but Seishiro could tell it was a note different this time. None of them knew how hard he really did work. As laid back as he seemed, Fuuma never put things off. “It’s still something I have to get done, though. So, I’ll catch you guys later.”

 

There were insignificant partings given at this point, and he could hear the familiar movements of his brother as he turned. He really should go in before his brother found out he wasn’t home. It wouldn’t due for the younger to find out about this habit of his… it disturbed himself enough that he did it at all. Opening his eyes, he suddenly realized that someone was calling his brother. Tilting his head slowly, he caught sight of Fuuma and one girl standing in the gate to their home. “A-ano, Fuuma-san…”

 

Dark brows rose as he noted the soft red filtering over her cheeks as she looked up at him. The order truly was going soft to let such a love sick child into their ranks. “Something on your mind?”

 

Seishiro canted his head to the side as she folded her hands before her fidgeting and looking at the ground. “I… I was wondering…” The stutter was somewhat ridiculous to him. Sitting straight, he told himself he should leave. He should leave and pretend he wasn’t seeing this again. It shouldn’t matter. But the sound of Fuuma moving drew his eyes back to them. The lanky teen was leaning one arm against the fence post as he stooped closer to peer with a smile into her face. It only served to make the blush deepen as those hands rose to cover her lips.

 

“You were wondering?”

 

Everything about Fuuma’s face was… stunning. Had Seishiro been in her position, he was certain that part of him would feel hard pressed to be speechless. But he wasn’t like this weak child that couldn’t even gather her wits as she stuttered helplessly to find her words. Flirtatious. That was the best word to describe his otouto. He was quick with charm and even quicker to lure them in. Only, in the moments he’d watched, Fuuma always pushed them away. But this time, the girl wasn’t giving him the chance to react by completing her thought. Instead, she reached out to touch his face, and something inside made an echoing snap that he couldn’t explain.

 

Soundlessly he dropped to the ground and walked up behind his brother. There was a placid smile on his face, but dark amber eyes were empty as they locked on her flushed face. Had Fuuma pulled away from that touch? He couldn’t tell; all he could see were her bright eyes as they filled with fear at catching his gaze. In the same instant, Seishiro saw his brother stiffen and go still. “Okaeri, otouto.”

 

Fuuma turned slowly, his wide vibrant eyes locking on his own. For a moment, the younger seemed to hesitate as he studied his older brother’s eyes, but in the end, a smile curled over his lips covering any concern he may have felt. “Tadaima, Seishiro nii-san.”

 

“A friend?” Seishiro’s voice almost dropped in degree as his eyes returned to her face. All the color that had previously been there had already drained out leaving her deathly pale.

 

“No, she was just leaving.” No feeling was in those words. It was so easy to see her hopes shatter as his brother so callously brushed her aside. “I’ll see you later.” Fuuma didn’t even turn to look at her, only lifted a hand to wave as he moved toward the elder brother. “Did you miss me, nii-san?”

 

He didn’t answer as his eyes stayed on that girl until she ran away, her face in her hands. At least she didn’t cry. “Of course.” The words were soft as he moved his gaze back to Fuuma. It was still a bit… unnerving… to look up at the younger.

 

“You’re home early. Did they let you go sooner?” There was no question of why he was there. Was this blind trust? Seishiro wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or bad.

 

“Do you think they have more to offer me?”

 

“No.” Fuuma only smiled as his eyes closed. The earnest sound to his voice caused Seishiro to smile. Blind trust, blind faith.

 

Without a thought, Seishiro reached out to ruffle the messy locks of ebony. “Go study. I’ll start dinner soon.”

 

“Hai, nii-san.” As Fuuma walked past him, the smile never left his lips. Seishiro stayed still a moment as his other hand slowly uncoiled from the fist it had made allowing crumpled petals to fall to the ground.

 

--+--

 

 

The sound of boiling liquid was the only sound to fill the still silence as he leaned against the counter with one hip. His stance was almost lazy as he stared through the substance sitting on the stove. It was a little known talent of his to cook, and he did so nearly every breakfast and dinner for his mother and brother. Of the three, Seishiro was the only one with the patience to do so, and the only one that proved he wouldn’t set fire to anything or add charcoal to their diet. In reality, he liked the task. It was mind numbingly easy. All that he had to do was follow steps and carry them through without thought or logic involved. It was a solace that he needed and desired.

 

It distracted him from things he didn’t want to think about. “You’re still watching him.”

 

Without looking up at that song bird voice, he mechanically reached out to stir something to which his attention was pinned on. “What do you mean, okaa-san?”

 

“You always watch him.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Seishiro half smiled in response automatically. Never looking up or moving, he felt her arms slide about his waist.

 

“Why do you bother? No one wants to hurt him any longer. There’s nothing left for you to protect.” This caused Seishiro to go still in mid motion, his eyes staring through the food under his attentions. “He doesn’t need you anymore.”

 

Forcing himself to move, he told himself to focus on the contents on the stove and not on her words. “I know.”

 

“Then why torture yourself, beloved?” Small fingers curled into the dark fabric of his cassock as she leaned sideways resting her chin on his bicep. Playful eyes watched his face and smiled more at the empty smile on his face. “You keep forgetting, Seishiro… you’re mine. Completely.”

 

Seishiro stayed silent as he moved the food from the fire and set it aside. Reaching up to the cabinets, he mentally congratulated himself for arranging the kitchen as he had. After all, she tended to hover often making mobility hard for him. Now all the necessities were in a single area for the times she wouldn’t let go. “If that is what you wish, then that is how it is.”

 

Something flashed in her eyes, and he knew his answer wasn’t to her liking. It was the same he always gave when she laid possession over him. There weren’t many things that she held over him, but there was always one. And that one was all it took to keep him docile in her affections. “He never should have been born.”

 

Tilting his head to look at her for the first time, there was a cold edge to his amber gaze. Every part of him wanted to say something to cut her just as deeply as she so liberally cut him. But he still wasn’t sure yet. He wasn’t sure he was stronger than her… he wasn’t sure if he could risk that much. Leaning in closer, he whispered coldly in her ear something that made her shiver. “Then you’d have no hold on me.”

 

--+--

 

 

A few days had passed, and his mother hadn’t said a word to him. That was fine, as long as she never looked in Fuuma’s direction. And so the days passed in silence. Fuuma didn’t even venture to talk in the house if both Setsuka and Seishiro were there. It was a delicate balance, one that if it were tilted just wrong, everything would fall apart. In a way, Seishiro knew it would all shatter. “Seishiro, you seem to be out of focus this week. Is something the matter?”

 

“Why ever do you think that, sir?” Smiling in an amiable manner, the high elder watched him with aged eyes.  The man, where mostly heartless, was a bit more intuitive than most gave him credit for.

 

“You’ve been missing meetings and skipping practice.”

 

“I hardly think my presence in the arena is necessary.”

 

The elder seemed to twitch in his seat as the amber eyed hunter turned his eyes to stare out the window blindly. “Seishiro. There is a matter I want to discuss with you…”

 

“So, I wasn’t called here to be chastised?” The smile on his lips was almost childish and sweet if the man hadn’t known the youth better than that.

 

“No, it’s about another pressing matter.”

 

“And what is that?”

 

“Your mother.”

 

--+--

 

 

His strides were sweeping and graceful as he moved down the halls. People generally felt it necessary to stare at him in silence whenever he moved through the Order. The heels of his boots clicked against stone only because he was too distracted to pay attention to making his motions silent. One hand rose to thread through wavy raven locks as he ducked his head. Seishiro always looked straight ahead when he walked, but today, this wasn’t the case.

 

Colliding thoughts of feeling and logic were churning in his mind, and his eyes were downcast to make sure he didn’t trip in his daze. This posture alone set the other members on edge. To have their best look distraught was the slightest bit unnerving. The fuse on his sanity was short, and sparks were flying inside.

 

Turning a corner, he heard a voice that caused him to go still. Without looking, that voice echoed in his head telling him who he was. His eye lids fell half closed as he remained still there in the halls of their Order. All he had to do was turn his head and see what was going on. Though, part of him told him it was better to just keep walking.

 

“Oh? You are?”

 

“Fuuma-san! Don’t tease!” The voice was distraught in contrast to that teasing tone that had left his younger brother. Slowly turning his head, he saw his brother’s back and the figure of a slightly shorter boy leaning against the wall in front of him.

 

“Why not? You wanted my attention didn’t you?” Fuuma leaned closer pressing a palm against the wall on either side of the other’s head. Seishiro watched numbly as those gray toned eyes stared at his younger brother in anticipation. These weren’t the blushes and stutters that girls gave the younger brother; instead it was a male that was determined to ‘prove’ himself to Fuuma. Seishiro recognized him. He was one of the ones that used to cruelly tease his brother when he was younger. In fact, he recalled in clarity each bruise and cut that he could allot to him.

 

Whatever he answered to his brother, Seishiro was uncertain. Something in him was tuning it out harshly with a look of nonchalance. Then, why couldn’t he look away as his brother leaned in to whisper in that teen’s ear?

 

“It hurts… doesn’t it?”

 

Turning sharply, his gaze fell on the kind look of his mother’s face. It was too caring, too willing to offer comfort. For what? What did she want to comfort him for? “He doesn’t even notice your presence anymore.”

 

Seishiro allowed one brow to rise as she walked closer, her fingers laced together behind her back. Each step was like a prance, but she never made a sound. This was where his grace came from, even though she was the last person he would admit to admiring for her prowess. “Why would he have to be aware of my presence, okaa-san?”

 

Their conversation was soft, and he knew many would have to strain to hear them. This was how she always drew him in. “Don’t you wish for him to notice you? My poor boy… it’s heartbreaking isn’t it?”

 

Seishiro felt his teeth grind together as he set his jaw to keep that smile on his lips. “Why would I be heartbroken that his wings are no longer clipped?”

 

Giggling softly, she leaned up on her toes and wrapped her arms about his neck. Pulling him closer, she whispered into his ear. “What is your love to him, when he has all the people he wants at his beckon call? Simply shameless… how he uses his charm to entice people.”

 

“He’s not as loose as you’re making him out to be.” Seishiro spoke softly side-stepping all other vague claims she was making. Because something inside was sinking with those words. What is your love to him…?

 

“Of course, dear… not in your eyes.” Pressing her lips to Seishiro’s jaw, she smiled as she peered at her younger son as he moved so very close to the one squirming before him. “But can you watch him? Watch him, Seishiro…”

 

Amber eyes flicked to Fuuma, and widened slightly at the proximity that was growing smaller and smaller… was he? Stiffening, the elder hunter quickly shoved Setsuka from him and spun on his heel. Without looking back he moved away at a fast pace. He had to get away.

 

Standing in his wake, Setsuka smiled pressing her index finger to her lips. Soon, he would bend to her every whim. She didn’t even have to look to see Fuuma veering away at the last second only to laugh and walk away from his quarry. The matron of the family knew just how much Fuuma had learned, and in some detached way, she admitted him to being her son. But that wasn’t of importance. He simply existed to serve his purpose. And he’d served it well as she recalled that look on Seishiro’s face.

 

--+--

 

 

It was growing. Like a disease in the back of his mind. After that moment, he’d gone home and locked himself in his room. He didn’t make it further than the door as he fell back against it. Slowly, he slid to the floor and didn’t move. There he sat in the silence knowing that his mother would leave him to stew in his thoughts. Somewhere in his mind, he registered that the sun was going down, and he heard his mother all too happily tell Fuuma he’d have to fend for himself.

 

Seishiro made out a vague acknowledgment and heard nothing more. Setsuka wouldn’t offer an explanation anyway to Fuuma. She talked to him as little as she could. The only reason she offered that much was because she knew it would upset his brother. That was the only reason she ever spoke to him. Turning his head, he pressed his ear to the door and closed his eyes. Footfalls could be heard in the hall, and he distinctly heard them stop by his door. Strange, Fuuma’s room was before his.

 

The softest tap sounded on the door, and Seishiro wondered if the other had second guessed himself half way through knocking. Tipping his head back, he considered ignoring him, but in the end, Seishiro could deny Fuuma nothing. Quietly he rose to his feet. Some of his muscles were stiff as he brushed out his dark clothing. Opening the door, he peered into the younger’s face with blank eyes. “N-nii-san… sorry if I was…”

 

Seishiro watched his brother’s face shift from typical friendly to concern in a way that was hardly noticeable to other people besides himself. “Did you need something, otouto?”

 

Fuuma frowned at him; it wasn’t often that Seishiro cut him off like that. The elder blinked at the expression, and suddenly he couldn’t help but smile just slightly. Stepping back, he let the younger in. Watching the lean figure move into the room, he closed the door behind him. It was like an act, but everything was even when they knew what was going on. “I think I might get promoted!” Fuuma sent Seishiro a bright smile before flopping down onto his bed.

 

Seishiro moved to sit on the edge of the bed beside the younger and attempted a slight smile. “Oh? I’m not surprised.”

 

“You’re never surprised, nii-san.” Fuuma tipped his head at just the right angle to smile at his brother fondly.

 

“Should I be? I always have faith in you.” Turning on the bed, he curled a leg under him and moved to prop himself on his hands as he hovered over the younger.

 

Fuuma stared up at him in slight surprise, but it was quickly covered with a smile. “I know.” Seishiro watched that flicker of curiosity in those eyes he had been so drawn to all his life. And now as he looked at them, he recalled each caress, wink, and flirtatious act that the other gave to other people so easily. His mother’s words were echoing in his head and he felt like something was going to explode.

 

Right at that moment, his mind was being cruel as it supplied all so many mental images. Images that pertained to him being the focus of those attentions, and it thrilled him and frightened him all at once. None of which could be seen in his eyes as they stared so calmly into that face. Of all the people in their home, their Order, and their world, Fuuma always seemed to know. “What’s wrong, nii-san?”

 

Shifting, one hand found the other’s cheek. Fingertips curled against warm skin and he felt something in his chest flutter as those dark eyes stared up at him in worry and surprise. Fuuma was trying so hard to hide it all, but Seishiro saw it all. But didn’t that go both ways? Leaning closer, he felt that desire in the pit of his stomach to be the one that was so close to Fuuma. Was it really so wrong? “I’m fine, otouto.”

 

Those words were so soft, as he drew closer to that countenance he adored. He could feel his brother’s breath on his face, and just as he thought he could push it over the edge, the image of Fuuma about to kiss that teen in the halls flashed in his mind. Almost smoothly, he tipped his head and kissed the younger’s temple almost reverently. Lifting away, he caught something like disappointment in those eyes. But people could see anything they wanted to see if they were desperate enough. “Nii-san…?”

 

“I’m proud of you.” Seishiro smiled softly at him as he pulled away and sat back. Bowing his head, he closed his eyes. “I suppose I don’t have to protect my otouto anymore.” Just saying those words made him feel hollow. It was like admitting that he no longer had a use… It was decided. He only had one more thing left to do, just one.

 

--+--

 

 

Easy. This had all been so much easier than he had planned. The fighting, the pain, it was like partaking in a dance. What had finally led him to this place? She’d come to him, she’d provoked his feelings one last time, and he’d finally struck back. Like circling wolves fighting for dominance, they’d managed to stalk one another. Only, it was him who won in the deceitful little game of theirs. Now, as blood seeped into the carpet and their clothing, they seemed to smile at one another.

 

She was in his arms, cradled like a lover or even a child and his hands were bathed in blood. Bliss was in her dark eyes as she smiled up at him, his smile was cold and empty. What was fate? What caused a mother to lose her mind and give in to the darker obsessions that dictated she possess her own son? What made a son go so far as to willingly take an order to remove the life from his own mother? Was that fate? Elegant small hands reached up to capture his face in her hands as she giggled almost too happily to be on the verge of death. “You’ve made me so happy, Seishiro.”

 

“But I’ve killed you.”

 

“Ah, yes you have, and that makes me so happy.” Smiling brightly, she pulled him closer. Shifting to accommodate the embrace, the hunter watched her with empty eyes as she buried her face for a moment into his neck. Warm red blood streamed from a gaping wound, and he couldn’t help but stare at it in pure fascination. “What could be better than dying in the arms of the one you love most?”

 

Seishiro remained silent as her lips brushed his skin with each word. “You’re mine, Seishiro. From the moment you were born I loved you more than anything. Only you… Your father was so jealous.” Giggling again, he noted that it was weaker this time. “I was happy to meet the one that would mean everything to me… but then he was born.”

 

The feeling of her lips pursing against his neck caused his eyes to close. “If anything good… ever came from you…”

 

“It’s him? My silly dear Seishiro… I hated him the moment I saw that look in your eyes. So useless… that child, but he served my purposes.” She caught the anger in him as he stiffened, but smiled all the more because he didn’t pull away and didn’t react. Coughing, blood slid down her face and it seemed to make her giddy at the idea. Craning her neck, she pressed her lips to his ear and whispered in a gleeful tone. “And someday, my most beloved son, you’ll take him and own him completely…”

 

Seishiro jumped slightly as he heard those words, but still he couldn’t move away. “You don’t…”

 

Cutting him off, she purred on softly. “Just as I forever own you…” Giggling in her victory, she tightened her arms about his neck and cooed. “You’re just like me, Seishiro. There’s no fighting it.” Letting go slightly, she used the last of her strength to pull back and peer into his face. Pressing a kiss to his lips weakly, her lips curled smoothly into a content smile.

 

Seishiro barely felt that kiss, and his arms were useless as she slid downward and fell into his lap limply. Crimson blood and raven locks fanned over the floor as he stared at her body emptily. Nothing showed on his face as he marveled at that smile on her visage. She was happy to die this way. In the end, he gained no satisfaction. Nothing… he felt nothing for her. No regret, no pain, it was simply nothing.

 

If he regretted anything, it was waiting that long to kill her. She was the last threat to his brother, and now she was gone. Jealousy. All his life, everything he looked at brewed her jealousy and malcontent. That was something he learned to be wary of and fear. Especially when it turned on Fuuma.

 

You’re just like me, Seishiro. There’s no fighting it.

 

Jealousy. Every time someone touched Fuuma, stared at him, or called forth his attentions… Seishiro felt that dark desire to make them cease to exist. It drove him to drawing away from his duties and pulled all his focus on to that one person.

 

You’re just like me…

 

Bowing his head, his hands rose and tangled into his hair as he closed his eyes. Blood dirtied ebony silk as he leaned forward as though in pain. He was wrong. There was still something that he had to protect Fuuma from.

 

Just like me…

 

He had to protect that most precious person from himself.

 

--Owari--